


The things we do...

by LaurelinTengel



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Bottom Kang Yeosang, Edgeplay, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Kink Exploration, Little plot more porn, M/M, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Smut, Sub Kang Yeosang, Switch Park Seonghwa, Unrequited Crush, Yeosang is a good boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:07:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaurelinTengel/pseuds/LaurelinTengel
Summary: Seonghwa is done and that leads to his life being a bit of a mess. He just didn't have any idea how much of a mess his gonna make because of it.
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa, Seonghwa/Hongjoong mentioned
Kudos: 21





	1. Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Well here is a thing with Seonghwa and Yeosang at the center of the story and a Hongjoong looming somewhere too but mostly just mentioned.   
> Smut in second chapter.   
> Stay safe! Sending love you way!

‘’’

“Why do you keep doing this? Isn’t it enough now? Can we please go home?” Seonghwa said it in a tired and annoyed way. He had been sitting and waiting for Hongjoong for two hours now and the other didn’t seem to be even thinking of leaving yet.

“You can go ahead. I have just a little more to work on and then I be right there.” it was a absentminded response and one Seonghwa hated because he has heard it a hundred times and it always means their leader be showing up sometime at night dead tired and fall into his bed face first and they would not share a meal together or watch something or even have a talk about anything more relevant then did you remember to eat. 

Hwa let out a long suffering sigh and rubbed his face with his hands, he felt too old for his age. And suddenly he felt like he didn’t want to do the same thing over and over again.

So he stood up and said: “I’m going to go to my friends place, we don’t have schedule for two days so I won’t be at the dorm. I send manager a text.” he said it quickly and coldly and started to walk out the door when he heard the sound of the chair pumping into something.

Hongjoong had gotten up and was looking at him with a wide eyed expression: “What do you mean you going to a friends? What friend? Also why haven’t I heard about it before, shouldn’t we plan those kind of things ahead and tell each other?” he was trying to reason but he seemed hurt.

“I told you, I will let manager know. Other then that I just told you know, didn’t I? What I do with my free time is really non of your or any members business.” he knew he was lashing out, it felt like he was being petty but he was tired of being treated like he mattered only when it suited Joong. 

Hongjoong’s expression turned stony and he had clearly gotten the message it seemed: “Of course, you can do what you want with you time. Have fun.” he said it with the blandest tone, so that the “have fun” sounded sarcastic more then anything. Then he just turned and sat back down.

Joong looked at Hwa who was still standing by the door holding the door-handle and said: “Close the door behind you.” Seonghwa couldn’t believe the other was acting this way, he put up with a lot and didn’t demand for much for himself but this level of passive aggressiveness made him want to cry. 

So he swiftly turned and closed the door behind him quietly before his tears would show. He cried in the elevator and try to get out the building fast.

As he was getting to the lobby he turned the corner and ran physically into Yeosang. The other flustered and started to apologies and then looked at his face and asked: “Are you ok?” to which Seonghwa just nodded and continued walking, he knew he was being rude but he just didn’t want to be there anymore.

He got out the building and down the street and was standing by a crossing when he noticed Yeosang was standing next to him. He looked at the younger and he looked worried but firm.

“Where are you going hyung?” he asked in his surprisingly deep voice. And Seonghwa felt like crying again but held himself together: “I need to find a place to stay for the next two days. And I just realized I don’t really have any friends I could just go to and stay with here. I’m sorry Yeosang, you go home first, don’t worry. I just need some time to clear my head.”

“You have friends here. I’m your friend and I’m from here. Come on lets go.” Yeosang takes Seonghwa’s hand and crosses the street to walk confidently to the bus stop. Hwa is kinda surprised by the otherwise shy boy being so confident. But also he doesn’t really want to wander the streets and look for a place to stay so he just lets the other get them on a bus and sits quietly next to him while Yeosang doesn’t let go of his hand.

After a while of staring out the window and calming down a little Seonghwa turns to the younger and asks: “What were you doing so late at the company?” 

“I had a solo vlive, didn’t have any other time to do it so did it now.” Yeosang looked straight ahead and his face looked solemn. Seonghwa was worried because he was getting all sort of random hate lately but he kept doing his vlive’s and ignoring the unfounded garbage thrown at him. It must be hard on the shy boy do deal with this. 

Hwa squeezed the others hand and said: “Where are we going now? Don’t tell me you have some secret hide away place where your meet all your lovers or something? I be so shocked.” he laughed and Yeosang looked at him offended: “Like I would take you there if I did.” Hwa clutched his heart and feigned hurt: “Ow, you hit me right here, in my poor wounded heart. I’m not good enough for you?” 

Yeosang rolled his eyes: “Like you would ever want me.” while being sarcastic it also sounded a little too honest. Seonghwa went from joking to serious in a heartbeat. Was the younger self-esteem effected to the extent that he really didn’t think he be wanted or desirable to anyone? Was all of this stress and bullshit that came with their job having a bigger impacted then Hwa had noticed? Should he have been maybe paying closer attention to his members and not only be dumbly obsessed with Hongjoong and everything he says and does? His mind was running all over and doing him no favors. 

Hwa looked at the younger and said: “And why would I not want you? Your the kindest sweetest funniest friend I have. Who just happens to look like a angel who stepped on to the earth to bless us all with its beauty.” he smiled a bright smile at the other and Yeosang smiled a little smile back.

“But really, where are we going?” Hwa asked and Yeosang just laughed: “To my parents place, where else could I possibly take you. Also they not really home right now because my dad is away and my mom is visiting gran.” Hwa nodded along, the other was from here after all and he was also kinda relieved he didn’t have to do pleasantries with family not that he had anything against Yeosang’s just he was so exhausted that he just wanted to sulk in peace. 

They had to get off and take another bus to get there but they got off in a relatively quiet area and Yeosang led them along, walking at a slow pace. 

Then Yeosang stopped at a convenient store and turned to Hwa: “We should get some ramyun and maybe cereal for the morning. I don’t know what they will have in the fridge so…” he trailed off. 

“Sure, lets go.” Hwa said and took the others hand leading him into the store and going straight for their ramyun selection. They pickered a little about what to get but got enough food so they be stuffed and Seonghwa payed for it although Yeosang protested against it and tried to pay too. 

Hwa felt kinda exited about going to Yeosangs place, it felt like being in school again and having a sleepover at a friends house where you eat snacks and talk way into the night and play silly games. Felt like going back in time where things weren’t as serious and everything wasn’t always at stake for them. 

The house was not very big but still nice, modern and comfy, lots of light. Seonghwa loved it. And Yeosang lead him to the kitchen to start making food right away because both of them discovered they were way too hungry. Hwa naturally took the lead in the kitchen an just asked for a pot and where the utensils where. As Yeosang was kinda hopeless in the kitchen he let the older do everything and just got stuff out the fridge he found his parents had. 

This felt peaceful to Hwa, he needed this kind of calm with out the worry or conflict that has lately been building and building between him and Joong. He really didn’t want to face the other acting indifferent today, he couldn’t bear it. So he was grateful for this small escape. 

They sat on the floor by the low table in front of the tv and watched some drama playing in the background while they ate. 

“This is so yummy. What do you wanna do after? We can play some games or do a movie night?” Yeosang asked while taking a breathing break from inhaling his food. 

Hwa hummed and said: “We can do both. I don’t mind either way. We can lay down to watch the movie too, it be more comfy?” actually Hwa really needed some cuddles and he didn’t want to assume that Yeosang is ok with it because sometimes he doesn’t like them being too close so he is ready for a rejection.

“Let’s start with getting refreshed and then watch a movie in my bed. Does that sound ok?” Yeosang seemed to be fine with Hwa’s neediness right now, which is a small blessing and Seonghwa smiles at him and starts cleaning the table up and Yeosang helps and then he disappears and comes back with a towel and some comfy clothes for Seonghwa. 

“Take a shower first. I be waiting in my room.” it felt kind awkward for a moment, like they haven’t known each other for years and lived together for a long time. It felt like they were doing something different or something forbidden. 

Hwa shook his head while he closed the bathroom door, he was thinking strange things. They were just alone together without the others around, that was the only difference really. 

He let the warm water relax his shoulders and took maybe a little too long. As he was putting the clothes Yeosang gave him on he felt there was a little bit of a difference in there sizes. He usually didn’t pay much attention to it but Yeosang was smaller then him. 

He stepped out of the bathroom and went to the door the other had pointed to before as his room. He kind knocked out of habit and the younger answered to come in. He was sitting by his bed on the floor, looking at something on his phone. 

“Your good?” he asked while getting up and taking some clothes off the bed with him. Hwa just nodded and felt like he didn’t really belong here and doesn’t know where to put himself.

Yeosang smiled at him while he left the room and Seonghwa sat down on the floor and got out his phone looking at it for the first time since his fight with Hongjoong.

He had a message from Joong. It just read: “Your really not coming home?” he just looked at it and he felt tired again. He didn’t want to argue and he didn’t want the other to suffer either, he just needed to not be the person he was with Joong for a night or two: “No” is all he send back.

He put his phone away and looked at Yeosang’s room. It was light in colors and had pictures up on his wall with his school friends and from trips. It looked all neat and well rounded, like a happy persons room. Weirdly that is the thought that came to him while looking at all the little things that make up a persons life.

The door opened and he looked at the younger now in comfy tshirt and sweats drying his hair and looking extra cute, he smiled.

“What movie would you like to watch?” asked Hwa and waited for the other to say some action movie or marvel one instead the boy answered: “What about Totoro?” and it was the perfect idea. A comfort movie full of sweetness. 

So Yeosang got his laptop and found the movie and then sat down on the bed waiting for Seonghwa to join him. And there was that feeling of this not being like normal again as Hwa tried to make himself comfortable next to the younger. 

Yeosang pressed play and settled pressed up right to Seonghwa and laying his head on his shoulder. Hwa felt a little flutter and told himself to stop being weird. They got into the familiar plot easily and were really enjoying the little journey of a movie, Yeosang even made a really cute cooing sound when the cat-bus showed up. 

They got progressively closer and more comfortable until they were cuddling while watching the end of the movie. Hwa was getting a little sleepy, he was feeling warm and nice from the cuddles and just wanted to turn more into the younger’s arms and just go to sleep. But he didn’t really know if that was ok.

Yeosang pushed the laptop away and did just that, got closer into Hwa’s arms, burying his face into the older’s neck. A content sigh left the younger and he tightened his hold while nuzzling which wasn’t really normal for them. This level of cuddles and closeness wasn’t what they usually shared. 

Seonghwa was pulling away a little to look at the younger and Yeosang looked back at him with a expression he wasn’t really familiar with and then the boy leaned in and pressed his lips to Seonghwa’s. It was soft and he didn’t try to deepen it, but he moved his lips, soft fluttering kisses while Hwa was frozen in place.

He did not expect his evening to end up here, holding Yeosang in his childhood bedroom while the other is kissing him. Just for a moment he thought, why not, why shouldn’t he find some joy and comfort in this beautiful boy? As he thought that he kissed back and the other seemed to startle a little at that, like he didn’t expect it. 

He enjoyed the warm feeling he got from the kiss and soon he was biting the younger’s lip drawing a small gasp from him and then Hwa dived deeper licking the others lips and exploring his mouth. The kiss was more heated now and Hwa instinctively pulled the other closer. 

Fuck, why…why was this so good. And as he was making out with this beautiful boy he thought: “I wish it was Hongjoong” and that made him stop. He just lingered, eyes closed, lips still touching. Yeosang started to get impatient it seemed because he ground against Hwa’s leg and moaned.

Seonghwa pulled away suddenly realizing how bad this is for them. Just what a mess this can become if he doesn’t end this right now. 

He was breathing hard and that wasn’t the only hard thing right now. He moved away a little while adjusting himself so he wasn’t tenting his sweats. 

He didn’t know what to say to the other. Was he supposed to apologies or talk about it, should they just pretend it never happened? He wondered that in rapid succession as the other boy was sitting up and trying to straighten out the mess his hair had become. 

He had to start somewhere so he said: “Yeosang I don’t know why I did that but I don’t think it was a smart choice on my part. Why did you kiss me?”

The other is kinda making himself small and not looking at Hwa, shy all of a sudden. He says something but its so quiet that the older can’t hear so he gestures with his hand to speak up: “I…Well….I always thought…That you are someone I can trust. That you wouldn’t think bad of me for liking guys…maybe…you wouldn't hate me for liking you.” he pulls his knees to his chest and shakes his head a little continuing: “I never really thought to take action and I sure didn’t think you would kiss me back. So I got super exited. But I guess I got exited all on my own.” he said the last part disheartened and sad. Letting his hair cover his eyes. 

“Yeosang, are you saying you like me? Really?” he didn’t mean to sound so in disbelief about it but he thought the other was playing around or horny or being touched starved but this he didn’t really expect.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to trouble you hyung.” Yeosang starts to get up and off the bed probably wanting to flee from the situation that has become very awkward and smothering. 

Seonghwa holds on to his arm and says: “You don’t have to be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong and I did kiss you back. Sang-ah I’m not really in the same place as you. I mean I never seriously thought about doing any of this with you. That’s why I said I don’t think this is smart. I don’t want to just make out or do anything beyond that with you because I feel hurt and lonely and need someone. I don’t want you to be just someone and I sure don’t want to use you as a replacement for someone else.” 

Yeosang sat back on the bed they were facing each other knees touching and Hwa let his head hang, regretting his choices it seemed but Yeosang on the other hand put his hand on Hwa’s face and lifted it gently saying all exited and serious: “I don’t mind at all. Use me all you want. Imagine what ever or who ever you want. I don’t care, as long as I get even another kiss. Please hyung. Please use me.” he said it in a deep quiet whisper that made Seonghwa shudder, making him feel it in his bones. 

The younger leaned in and softly put his lips on the others holding his chin in his hand. And he but all his efforts into the tame kiss. It was so very sweet thought Hwa and he felt how tempting it was, how good this could be. He felt want. 

‘’’


	2. Sweet mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's just smut. Kink negotiations and some edge-play and cum play so be warned. other then that it's pretty sweet I say XD.  
> The last chapter will be just aftercare and some talking.

‘’’

Seonghwa was kinda stunned hearing words like that coming out of Yeosang. He didn’t care if Hwa ‘like’ him like that, he was good with just having anything with him. 

The older thought for a fleeting moment how this would make Joong feel and then he remembered clearly how he was told by the other how they aren’t a couple and a few drunken make outs don’t make them one. And however much he felt like they were one he was repeatedly shown how untrue that was. 

So he wasn’t cheating on anyone and Yeosang was very eager to do pretty much anything. 

Hwa laid his hands on the other boys hips and looked at him really focused asking: “What do you like? Are you a good boy or have you been bad? Do you have any no goes? Is the traffic light ok for you to use?” he word vomited all his concerns on the other and waited patiently looking at a little startled Sang-ah.

“I…I mean I think I’m a good boy and I like to be praised. The light systems fine. And I…well..” he shifted a little away from the other and looked at the hands on his hips. Hwa waited.

“I don’t like… I don’t like to be held down. Restricted or pushed.” that was concerning to Hwa and he looked at the other asking: “Anything I should know about? Is there a reason you would like to talk about? You don’t have to of course.” 

Yeosang lifted his hands and started gesturing saying: “No no don’t think the worst it not anything horrible, I just had a few bad experiences as a child when I couldn’t move and had a panic attack because of it.” that sounded pretty bad to the older but he let it be. 

“That’s ok, I will keep that in mind. Are you fine with a little edge play?” he didn’t know how he was so fine with talking about it but he felt like he had no more reasons not to and he rather ask then make the other uncomfortable. 

“I never done it but I’m willing to try. Do you want to fuck me?” that was blunt and kinda made Hwa’s eyes widen, he hadn’t really thought of taking it all the way. And he didn’t know or wanted to presume what the other prefers. 

“Do you want me to fuck you? Because we don’t have to go all the way there is lot’s of fun things we can do. Just saying that I don’t expect anything.” Hwa moved his hands to the other boys thigh's and rubbed them hopefully soothingly. 

“I want you to. If that’s ok?” he wasn’t as sure anymore as with the first statement and Hwa found it to be adorable but also a little concerning. 

“Mm ok, if that is what you want.” said it slowly while leaning into Yeosang personal space and then connecting their lips once more. 

Seonghwa was thinking how long he has been waiting on Joong and how long he hasn’t slept with anyone because of that. He was missing the closeness and the intimacy. Yeosang was so eager, when Hwa held his face in place with a hand on his jaw and lifted himself a little so he was looming over the other, making deliberate deep strokes with his tongue. Biting lightly at the others lips and making him moan in low guttural way. 

It would be fun to tease and edge this boy, thought Seonghwa with a shudder running down his spine. He ran his hands under the other boys shirt and pulled away a little: “May I?” while lifting the edge of the shirt, the younger nodded and blushed a little which seemed funny considering what they were about to do. 

Hwa took the other boys shirt off and ran his hand from his chest to his low riding sweats and he curled his fingers in the material. Sang-ah let out a noise, biting his lip to seemingly hold it back. 

Hwa leaned in and bit lightly onto the other boys shoulder kissing along his neck whispering: “Let the noises out, I love to hear how good I can make you feel. Don’t you want to be good for me?” and that brought a moan out from the younger’s lips. Yeosang reached out and pulled Seonghwa closer running his hands into the older’s hair. 

He shifted a little and moved so he was sitting on Hwa’s thigh and he rubbed up against him bringing their faces close for a more heated kiss. Yeosang but everything into it and let all the noises out. 

Hwa smiled while he pulled away a little: “Aren’t you impatient. Lay back we have all night.” he laughed a little and lifted the younger to gently lay him down on the bed and while doing so he positioned himself between the others legs and leaned over him to nip at the others nipple, letting his tongue run over it then gently biting. 

The skin of the other boy felt heavenly and heated under his hands and he sucked and bit into it with joy, relishing the squirming of the younger.

Yeosang grabbed a hold of his shoulder and kept tugging his nails in while Hwa moved down the other boys body til he was kissing the hollows next to his hips which made the younger push up at him brushing his clearly hard erection against the older’s face. 

Seonghwa smiled up the other boys body looking at him half lidded and breathing a little too fast. 

“Can I take this off?” he pushed his fingers past the waistband and his fingertips brushed the tip of Yeosang’s erection making the boy shiver. 

“Please….Yes please.” is all he manage to get out before Hwa lifted his hips and smoothly pulled his pants down with his underwear, just throwing them aside and kneeling in between the the legs of an entirely naked Yeosang. 

Hwa looked at how beautiful the younger looked, flushed and blinking up at him a little dazed. He looked like a snack. 

“What’s your color?” he ran his hands over the other boys thighs stopping just short of touching his clearly hard cock, begging for attention, twitching visibly. 

“I…I’m ok….I mean green, can you please…” Yeosang laid a hand on his face and his ears where red. Hwa smiled at how cute the other was right now. 

“Your doing so good. Looking so beautiful for me. Take your time, tell me what you want.” he kept running his hands over the others legs feeling the little movements and shivers running over the boys body. He was so turned on from just a bit of making out, Hwa hadn’t even touched his dick yet. This was gonna me a mess, he loved it already.

“I…can you…please touch me….I mean…fuck me…” he mumbled the last part but Seonghwa heard it clearly. This was gonna drive him insane, the level of adorable the younger was being.

“Mm as long as you keep telling me what you like and don’t come before I tell you too then I can definitely make sure that your wish comes true.” he was smiling just a little too much teasing the boy feeling him getting impatient. 

“I be good, please…” Hwa smiled at the pouting and whine tone of the other and leaned on the bed asking: “Do you have lube?” was gonna be complicated to make this work without. 

A very red in the face Yeosang pointed to the draw of the nightstand and Hwa leaned over to open it and get out a half empty bottle. 

As Hwa was settling back between the other boys legs he leaned in close holding both thighs and lifting them apart a little giving him a clear view and making the younger whine in either embarrassment or excitement or both. 

Seonghwa leaned in close to Yeosang’s straining erection just breathing on him feeling the little impatient movements and looking at the pretty cock twitch in front of him. He kissed the tip, then he looked up at Yeosang letting out a moan and grabbing for Hwa’s shoulder. 

Hwa let his tongue ran over the tip swirling it around and then pushing at the slit suckling a little tasting the other. Sang-ah pushed up just a little so Hwa let his hand settle on the other boys hip to keep him steady and sucked harder on the tip making the other groan. 

Seonghwa was still fully clothe and feeling and seeing the naked boy under him squirming with his cock leaking grabbing a hold of the pillow next to his head and Hwa’s shoulder with his other hand trying very hard to be good and not fall apart, he wanted nothing more then to be inside of him.

He pulled away from the others erection licking his lips and savoring the taste. Took the lube that lay between the others legs on the bed and opened the cap putting a generous amount on his fingers and asking the younger: “What’s your light? Are you ready to finally be fill up?” 

Yeosang seemed out of breath and his neck was all flushed and when he looked at him his face was so sinfully beautiful that Seonghwa had to pause and just stare at him. Sang-ah slowly said: “Still green and yes….I want you…please…i want all of you.”

When the lubed had warmed a little on his hand Hwa leaned down again and let his fingers stroke over Yeosang’s hole which made the other jump a little. Hwa looked at Sang-ah’s face and raised an eyebrow in question and the younger just whispered: “Cold…” 

“Sorry, i should have warmed it longer. It be warm soon.” he smiled as he started to insert a finger while looking at the others face, he wanted to see the expressions he would make. 

He pushed in and despite the amount of lube it was kinda tight. Hwa thought ‘he can take his time fingering the other, making him feel real good before giving him want he needed’. 

He squeezed his own very much neglected erection through the sweats just at the thought of making Yeosang cry with want. 

The other boy let out a little gasp when Hwa was trying to slowly tease at his hole with the other finger, not yet pushing in just testing. Sang-ah was giving so many reactions and was surprisingly vocal in bed which made Seonghwa want to see what else the other boy would do. 

So when he had considered it time to add a finger he leaned over the other and while adding the second finger he took the younger’s dick right in and sucked for dear life. The noise Yeosang made was just beautiful and Hwa felt him self smiling a little and then focusing on sucking hard while loosening the other up slow and steady. 

Angling he tried to find the right place to make the boy squirm even more and after some swirling of the fingers he got a gasp from the other while he was buckling his hips into the air almost making Hwa choke on his cock. 

Seonghwa pulled off and looked at the other boy, face. Yeosang looked flustered and kinda confused which seemed odd to Hwa so he asked: “How is your light? Do you need me to slow down?” he stopped all he was doing to wait for the other to answer and after a breath Sang-ah said: “Yellow….Can we…just for a moment…I’m sorry…I don’t wanna be bad…I’m really trying to be a good boy for you but my body is evil and u make me feel so good…” oh so that was why, thought Hwa and sat up to rub his free hand along the other boys side trying to soothe him and make him calm down a little. 

“It’s ok, baby. You been so good. You haven’t done anything wrong. You doing perfectly. My beautiful sweet boy.”

He kept whispering praises to the the other until he looked like he wasn’t gonna cry any moment anymore and Yeosang said in a steadier voice: “Can you please fuck me know?” 

Seonghwa ran his hand down the others stomach slowly til he reached his cock and held it in his hand: “You need more prep love. So be patient. Can you do that? Be good and wait?” 

Sang-ah sighed deeply and looked at Seonghwa: “I be patient. Promise:”

Seonghwa felt like he was running out of patience tho the way he was achingly hard. 

The older leaned back in this time only slowly and steadily stroking the other boys cock while moving his fingers, hitting the prostate with every other stroke, just keeping the edge but not pushing it. 

He was feeling the boy slowly loosen up but it was taking longer then he thought he usually spend on it, maybe Yeosang hadn’t fingered himself in a while….He wondered when did the other boy last had the opportunity to be fucked? Maybe that was the reason he was so eager. 

He added a third finger and worriedly looked at the younger’s face. Yeosang grimaced a little. So Seonghwa waited and asked: “Your good?” and the other boy just nodded and made a hurry along gesture. 

Seonghwa smiled down at the very much leaking cock in his hand and the three fingers that were knuckle deep in the younger and wanted to make him come. 

But where would be the fun in that. So he started to move his fingers slowly just holding the base of the others cock. He had added lube with every finger but despite the slipperiness it felt a little tight still. He thought the boy needed more time. 

Yeosang grabbed at the hand holding his cock and he still seemed embarrassed it looked like. And he said: “Please, I’m good, I’m ready. Please fuck me….I do anything…just fuck me.” 

“You promised to be patient baby? It be so good if you hold on a little longer. Can you do that for me sweetheart?” Hwa never thought he call the other any of those names but he also didn’t think he be fucking him ever so what difference did it make anymore.

And there it was the tears that he had waited for and dreaded somehow all at once. Yeosang was crying, silently, just tears flowing down his cheeks. It was so beautiful and god was it a turn on. 

“Ok, baby, its ok. I’m gonna help you. I’m gonna give you everything you need.” Seonghwa soothe the other boy letting go of his achingly hard cock and leaning over to brush the tear away. Lingering with his hand on the others cheek and slowly pulling his fingers out, making the younger gasp and moan and more tears spill. 

Hwa touched his lips with his thumb running it over the sweet bitten lips and Yeosang took him into his mouth all eager to suck on anything it seemed.

He sucked on Seonghwas thumb that was covered in the younger’s precum. What a perfect sight he thought. 

“Do you feel empty baby? Do you need me to fill you up properly now? Tell me what you need?” he wanted nothing more then to fuck this sweet boy hard til he couldn’t think anymore but he had to be patient too. 

“I….please…..I can’t…..Need your…I need your cock.” and that’s what he needed to hear to be sure it was time.

Seonghwa pulled his shirt of in a quick motion and discarded his pants. Freeing his very neglected cock, he sighed while spreading lube on it and and he positioned himself between the boys legs only to look him over once more, how beautiful he was when desperate. 

“What’s your color baby?” he almost didn’t hear what the other was saying with Yeosang's arm laying over his face. 

So he leaned closer and could make out a: “Fucking green…its green.” Seonghwa smiled and laid his hands under the others hips just to lift him up which made the other boy make confused noises til he was sitting in Seonghwa's lap and his tripping wet ass was sitting on Hwa’s cock and he shuddered. 

“I don’t want to hold you down. And you can go at you own pace like this.” Yeosang laid his hands on Seonghwa's shoulders and leaned in and kissed him like his life depended on this one kiss. Like he loved him.

Which hurt Hwa’s heart a little but he was in too deep to really care right now so he positioned his cock at the younger boys entrants and waited for the other to start sinking on to it. He was so eager after all, he smiled at that and Yeosang looked at him with a pout that was too adorable for this world. 

Then the younger slowly, experimentally tried to lower himself down, feeling his rim getting stretched he pulled back a little kinda looking shocked. Hwa asked: “What’s wrong? Are you ok?” and Sang-ah looked down and their bodies and whispered: “It’s bigger then I thought.” all that Seonghwa could do is bite his lips from making any noise or comment to that. 

“Take your time love.” is all he ended up saying and Yeosang got that determent look in his eyes and started to sink down again this time going a little too fast and getting the tip in with a gasp and a shudder. 

Hwa ran his hands over the other boy’s sides and felt his muscles all tense, he really wanted him to relax. “Your doing so great love. You taking it so well. You can do this, your my good boy.” and that made the younger’s cock that was sandwiched between them twitch.

Yeosang sighed and lowered himself down steadier and all the way til he was firmly seated and entirely filled up. He let out a moan and put his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder just sitting there breathing. 

Hwa ran a hand through the younger’s hair and kissed his head in a little too sweet manner but he really didn’t care. He felt how warm and good this boy feels around him, how much joy he could bring him. 

Yeosang started to lift his hips and moved slow and steady seemingly shocked and a little out of rhyme. So Seonghwa put his hands under the others ass and started to lift him and pull him down with a slow but steady rhyme. 

It started to feel way too good way too quick, thought Hwa as the younger seemed to be a fast learner and when he aimed just right Sang-ah made a noise that almost sounded like a squeak coming from him it was the cutest thing ever. 

So Hwa quickened his pace and aimed at the same spot with every other trust. The other boy was trying to keep up but it was mostly losing all his concentration with every other trust. 

Yeosang was grabbing onto Seonghwa for dear life and he whispered into the others ear: “I want your cum in me. Please fill me up. I be yours. Fuck me when ever you want.” 

And Seonghwa was surprised at himself how much that affected him as he laid the boy on his back and held his hips in a grip that might bruise as he trust into him like the only thing he needed in this entire world was to reach his peak. 

Yeosang moaned and tried his best to hold on to something while the bed was shaking and he was so overwhelmed and before he knew it he was coming all over himself, his stomach, chest and a little cum hit his chin. 

Seonghwa only slightly slowed his pace only to reach out to the other boy and run a hand through his cum and then touch his face and spread it on his lips and Yeosang was breathing hard and opened his mouth letting the other in just to have his cum covered fingers in his mouth and licking them clean while being shook by the others trusts, hard and steady. 

And that drove Seonghwa over the edge he just lay his hand at the others throat, not squeezing, holding firmly and rammed into him with all the need that had build up. With ever hard trust and squeeze to his throat he came closer to his release and he felt how good it would be to own this boy…and he came at the thought. 

Spreading himself deep inside the other, not caring for the mess, just wanting him full of his cum. 

He leaned over the other but not on top, breathing so hard and still inside not wanting to pull out because he felt so sensitive.

Yeosang held Hwa’s hand with both of his and the older looked at him and saw real adoration in the expression of bliss. 

'Oh my' thought Seonghwa as his sex addled mind caught up to who he just fucked senseless. 

‘’’


	3. Go on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess it doesn't make much sense but I wanted them to just be happy. So I left all the hard stuff out and let them just talk.
> 
> Don't mind me wanting them to be more then kinky... 😅
> 
> Sending all the love you way!

'''

The way the younger looked at Seonghwa made him worried. Did he do something really reckless just now.. Sure... Would he regret it tho?... Who knows? Could it hurt the other and maybe break his heart in the process? Godses he hoped not.

He moved away from the beautiful mess of a utterly depotchered boy. Not saying anything to him and the other just looked at him with half lidded eyes breath slowing and not really doing anything to stop him. 

Seonghwa went to the bathroom and had a quick rinse for himself and then found a handtowle that he soked in warm water. He was kinda worrying now that he had some clarity, away from the undeniably tempting boy. 

Could he maybe do this? Could they just forget about all the reasons why not to and just go for what ever works for them? 

Then while standing around and letting the water run he thought of Hongjoong. He would still be in love with Hongjoong... No matter how much he liked to not be. That fact did not change. And while the younger said he didn't care if he was not liked back or used. How could Hwa let him be either? What kind of friend or human would that make him? 

Was he already a bad person for falling for the tempting offer of forgetting and just feeling... But then again what was wrong with that...only the others feeling that he knew he couldn't return. 

He had stayed in the bathroom for too long and the younger problemly didn't feel great with drying crusty cum on him. He should face the music. 

He turned the water off and walked to the bathroom door only for it to open and a naked tired looking Yeosang standing in the doorframe, leaning on it. 

"Why did you leave?" he sounded confused and a bit sad and it felt to Seonghwa like he was being terrible at this whole thing. 

"I was just about to come back and help you clean up but when you are already here it be better to clean properly in the shower. Do you want me to leave you to it or?" he looked down not wanting to stare at the others naked form while he seemed so vounarable all of a sudden. Which just made it awkward. 

"Can you do it for me? Clean me, I mean?" Yeosang asked it shyly looking up into Seonghwa's eyes expectantly and stepping a shaky step forward so they were much closer and then Yeosang leaned his head on the older's shoulder turning his face into the others neck and whispered:"Please can you take care of me, like you usually do? I really need you right now." and it did feel horrible, like he abandoned the younger imidiatly after fucking him and just ran off to panic all on his own while the other was probably pretty overwhelmed still. He was being cruel. And he cared for Yeosang deeply and loved taking care of him so to hear this hurt his heart. 

"Of course I take care of you. I always will. I care about you very much, love." he layed his hand on the younger boys head and stroked his hair that was still a bit sweaty. And the younger sighed like he was relieved to hear him say it. Was he really being that horrible that Sang-ah thought he could just abandon him at any moment without another thought? 

On instinct he kissed the top of the other boys head and it felt like a sweet gesture, maybe too sweet. He quided the younger to step into the shower and he took the shower head to adjust the temperature while Yeosang really seemed kinda half out of it, like this took a lot out of him. Seonghwa worried about how the other was feeling suddenly. 

"How are you feeling? Does it hurt anywhere?" he tried to catch the other boys eyes and Yeosang looked at his and his expression changed a bit and he shifted seeming uncomfortable all of a sudden. Was he hiding that he was in pain or that he wasn't feeling great because he thought Hwa be upset about it? What was going on with Sang-ah? 

"Please tell me. I really liked to know how I can help you Sang-ah." he put his best efforts of sincere concern forward and the other fidgeted with his hands while leaning on the cold tiles and muttering under his breath... Hwa didn't hear him so he leaned in and waited til the younger said:

"It was kinda my first time being fucked and I wasn't really prepared for how it was gonna be... The good parts and the after. It feels so weird now... I don't know if I like the feeling or... If I shouldn't like it... I'm confused and achy... When I walk it hurts a little." he wondered off and Seonghwa straightend up and stared at him... He couldn't believe the other hadn't told him something so important as the fact that he wasn't experienced and probably needed a lot more guidance and reassurence. He couldn't believe he had just been the first person to ever sleep with this amazing boy... And he wasn't even in love with him and he didn't like that he felt bad about not loving someone... It was ridiculous. 

"Don't you trust me?" Hwa asked the younger with a little hurt in his voice. Yeosang said that he did. 

"Then why wouldn't you trust me enough to tell me? That is kinda relavent when your trying to have any sort of relationship. Trust and honesty."

Yeosang blinked up at him eyes suddenly wide and said: "What do you mean relationship? I thought you just agreed to use me in replacement of someone else this one time." he sounded really confused and that sentence just made Seonghwa cringe. 

"I told you I don't want to use you. And I chose to be with you because of you and not once did I cared to think of you as anyone but you. And while we haven't discussed anything further we in some sort of relationship, be it a sexual one or something else. It is still needed to have trust, especially if we want to continue... " Yeosang threw himself at Hwa hugging him mid sentence and the older just stood in the shower holding a boy he had no idea what to feel about... Only that he wanted to keep him, keep this. That it felt better then most things have in a long while. That maybe he stumbled onto something he just could not even see before. 

"Do you mean that? Can we continue? Can we be something, anything after tonight?" the younger spoke into Hwas shoulder and the older pulled him away a little and said:

"If you want to continue? I would like to figure out what kind of relationship we could have because you certainly make me feel things and make me happy. And I don't want to pass that up because I'm still hung up on someone. If you ok with me not being over that person I liked for so long yet? And if you can give me some time to get over them, with your help. I can see myself together with you. What do you think?" 

"Do you think Hongjoong will have a bad reaction to us being in any sort of relationship?" Seonghwa knew they joked around a lot and he knew he was sometimes obvious about his love but this felt like everyone just knew about his rejected ass walking around like a kicked puppy that just begs to be petted anyway. 

"He has nothing to mind, we where never in a relationship and he isn't petty enough to make thing harder for all of us. So I don't think it will be the problem you think it would."

"But he cares about you... Even tho, for some unfathomable reason he doesn't want you, he will probably be hurt by you moving on from wanting him tho." Hwa was taken aback by the inside the other boy seemed to have in their dynamics even tho he thought their were being quite about it. 

"I won't stop being his friend or caring for him. I just stop hoping his priorities change and that he magical looks up one day and relizes that all he really needed to be content was me... Because some daydreams need to die for me to live. Fuck, this got too deep." the older moved his hands to hold the other boys hips while Yeosang had placed his hands on Hwa's chest. They stood there and Hwa laughed. Feeling how ridiculous it was to stand under a shower naked with his group member and discusing how Seonghwa was stupidly in love with their leader for too long and to an unhealthy extent where its time for him to let go or else... This all seemed a little too out of the ordinary. 

"Its ok, I get how you feel. I was gonna promise myself I stop pinning for you just last week because its been so long and I just feel like it has reached its limits of being dramatically happy or sad about every little thing you did for me or with me. I felt like a obsessed person... Constantly going over our conversation and interactions trying to find a clue as to how you felt about me. When I knew that u didn't see me like that... I always knew." he hung his head and leaned closer then continued talking:

"So I swore to give up like two days ago. And then there you were upset like I rarely seen you and all I wanted was to hold you and help you and take care of you just like you take care of me." it was so sweet of a thing to say that Seonghwa felt himself tear up. And as he was fighting to keep his composure the water turned cold because they stood around letting it run onto them without doing anything but talking for way too long. 

They both jumped slightly and moved to turn the water off. Yeosang laughed a little nervously and reached for a towel to cover himself. And started drying off stepping away from the older. 

Seonghwa really had some swift turns in how he saw and felt about the other boy in the last few hours. This emotional roller-coaster made just one thing stand out clearly to him, he wanted Yeosang.... One way or the other... He wanted him. And he was ready to work to earn the others trust. 

So he rapped his arms around the younger from behind and hugged him tight saying: "Let's try this. Us two, we can make it work. And i would love to keep you in my arms if you only let me." he got sappy and he couldn't care less. 

Yeosang didn't turn just nodded and when Seonghwa moved to get a look at the other boys face he had tears in his eyes and was trying his best to prevent himself from crying out loud. 

"Come here." Hwa opened his arms and hugged Sang-ah thinking they should get under blankets because otherwise his boy will catch a cold. 

He smiled to himself because he would have never thought he end up here... Being the mess he was at the start of the day only knowing he was done and fed up... And now he felt giddy with possibilities. 

They walked over to Yeosangs bed and claimed in together laying in each others arms, not saying anything anymore just stroking each others skin gently and being in a daze of affection. 

They fell asleep facing each other entangled and very happy. 

'''


End file.
